A goose, 4 boobs, 2 butts and no dragon murders

Well, it’s been quite awhile since my last post…things have changed and also are the same. Isn’t it weird how that happens? Spring is DEFINITELY my favorite time of year. It seems like everything is so full of potential and hope…buds on the trees, daffodils and tulips popping up, AND it stays light past 6 PM- WOOT!

Another good thing: we got a free night of HBO two Sundays ago, so we were able to kick off the new season of Game of Thrones, hence the second part of the title to this post. I think that actually, it was Andrew’s prediction for how much nudity would be in the first episode of the season. So, a couple of things that Dan and I have been watching lately and enjoying:

1. House of Cards: OMG you guys, this show is completely RUTHLESS. And season 2 episode 1 is totally shocking. I think I may have to watch it again because I am not 100% sure that it’s totally sunk in. I am not usually a big fan of politics in general, but this show makes it really entertaining.

2. Game of Thrones: Still good! I haven’t been so happy to watch someone die until last week’s episode!!!!!!!!!!!!

3. Naked and Afraid: I hate camping. Like really hate it. A lot. This show is basically my worst nightmare. I am a total bitch when I am hungry and I can’t imagine what these people are going through as they are trying to navigate the extreme wilderness. Bug bites, starvation, dehydration, hypothermia…it’s pretty amazing that some of them actually make it through the 21 days to the extraction point (which is usually several miles away). No, thank you.

4. Beyond Scared Straight: This show takes at risk teens and puts them in a prison for a day. these kids think they’re tough, but you know they’re not and you get to watch the break down. I love it when they actually make a big change for the better because of the program. You really can be anything you want to be as long as you work hard and commit to it. 

5. Chrisley Knows Best: I LOVE watching this show. A big, Southern Family with a lot of kids and a ton of money. The things that come out of Todd Chrisley’s mouth are so perfect (for example, “ignorance I can fix, stupid is forever.”). And the stuff he does- this guy puts tracking devices on his kid’s cars. If you just want to laugh, this is the perfect thing to watch.

So, I am sure by this time, you’re wondering why I mentioned a goose in the title of my post, because really, there is nothing about geese in here at all. Well, bringing it all home to Andrew, apparently he was a bit intimidated by a goose while trying to exit his car at work one day. I didn’t realize it, but geese can be pretty territorial. So, he believed that by trying to reason with the goose, it would be nice to him; “hey goose”, he said. Now I should say that while recounting this story he said hey goose in a monotone accompanied by a hand gesture like he’s sweeping something to the side, which for some reason was completely absurd to me. And really funny. First of all, geese don’t understand English, also what kind of gesture was this and what was it’s purpose? I laughed really hard. The next day, I texted him because for some reason I thought he had a picture of this episode, (which I totally made up, apparently there are no pics) but I thought it would look something like this:


But instead, Andrew sent me this:


Happy Easter, Everyone!


Weekend Kitchen Update and an Encounter with Wildlife

The next step in our kitchen adventure was to tear out the entire kitchen to get ready for the cabinet install. Now, the installation technically won’t happen until Monday (fingers crossed), but we needed to get the room cleared so Andrew and our neighbor can run some new electrical lines, which is happening last weekend (yes, last weekend is as “real time” as you are going to get).

So the plan was to clear the room on Friday and get the house in a sort of organized state so when our friends showed up on Saturday we would be ready to go. That was the plan. It didn’t happen. Andrew and I drank too much on Friday and ended up being blobs on the couch. I was so clumsy that I managed to crack an egg and miss the pan. 


We’ve been really into whiskey lately, and it’s troubling because I can get plastered off of only one. I will drink two though, because they are delicious. sigh. Anyway, Saturday morning we scrambled to get everything out of the kitchen (which we did, and in record time). Then help arrived.

Ok, so technically help arrived before we finished emptying the kitchen, but there really wasn’t much left. It was fine. Our friends, Pat and Jesus, have recently gone through their own kitchen transformation, so they were very knowledgeable about how to take everything down and get it out in a timely manner. I hung around for maybe 45 minutes, and then had to jet off to my Saturday class, but by the time I came home, the cabinets were out, they had been donated and the boys had celebrated with Indian food. It was like magic.  





And, in case you didn’t believe me, a shot of the indian food:


The rest of the day was spent running an electrical line for the fridge, and adding an outlet for the microwave. Andrew and I added the last line for the garbage disposal (or dishwasher? I don’t know), on Sunday.


The next day was just me and Andrew working on things. We cleaned the floor of the kitchen, because it was nasty and covered with the corpses of 1,000,000 ants. I don’t have a photo for you, you’ll just have to imagine. 

We loaded up the van for the second time on Sunday and took all the construction trash that had been in our basement to a dumpster. We opened the dumpster and lo and behold:


(this is a video of Andrew asking what to do about the RACCOON IN THE DUMPSTER).


A raccoon.

I’m terrified of raccoons.

A raccoon that was stuck in the dumpster. We had to carefully place some of the longer scrap pieces of trim that we had on one side of the dumpster so the poor thing could climb out. I’m sure that if it wasn’t already starving and/or sleepy he would have been a mean mother f**ker.  

Kitchen-gate 2014

In an attempt to keep up with what is going on in our kitchen at all times, I’ll be posting mini updates in as close to real time as possible. Last week, we had someone come out to rip out our pantry and make it into an acceptable space for the refrigerator to move to. It was 2 days of work:



Day 1:


Day 2:


this is what is left over in our basement:



And as a result of “losing” our pantry, all of our pantry things ended up in the dining room:


Please note the maple syrup and the salsa were placed within easy reaching distance #priorities. 

Side note: we are painting the area and running the electric ourselves, so this refrigerator alcove is not ready to have the ‘fridge moved just yet. More on that to come.

Also, just because this is real life, here is where we are storing all of the extra stuff we bought until they are ready to be installed (hell yeah living room storage).   You are seeing a sink, faucet, garbage disposal and microwave. 



Needless to say, there is shit everywhere and our house looks like a bomb went off, but PROGRESSSSSSS.

Well, That Escalated Quickly

So it’s been awhile since my last post, but you will note that the time has been well spent on planning our EPIC KITCHEN RENOVATION. That’s right, we’re finally re-doing the kitchen. Here are the steps we took in planning this project:

1) move into house, decide that kitchen needs to be redone

2) look on pinterest for so many ideas… and find them

3) buy grey cabinet paint (in the super sale section) at Lowes one day on a whim to maybe someday paint the cabinets.

4) let many more months pass, look at pinterest some more

5) think about the perfect kitchen formation (knock down walls? move appliances?)

6) start figuring out how much everything will cost us, get scared and run away from project

7) make decision to leave layout of current kitchen, just make it better, use cabinet paint

8) start trolling granite suppliers for remnants, decide not to use cabinet paint

9) decide on a plan

10) buy all the things

Okay, so those last steps escalated things quite quickly. And in reality, we went back and forth SEVERAL times about whether to just paint the cabinets or buy new. Andrew and I have been talking about this kitchen for over a year, and only really made the leap from “wouldn’t it be great if…” to “let’s put a down payment on this” In the last 2 weeks, we’ve bought almost everything we’ll need and scheduled all the work to be done. Wait.. what?!

Here is the kitchen as it currently is laid out:

 Kitchen Current

And  here are some photos of our current kitchen:

You can see above, one of the problems we have with this kitchen is that the refrigerator is in kind of an awkward spot. The photos below shows exactly how much our back door opens. Let me tell you, it is a grade A pain in the ass to get a laundry basket through there.




Also, this is how my kitchen looks most of the time; shit all over the fridge and pantry door askew.

The following photos show our sort of orange cabinets and pink floors. They also showcase the lovely spot where we have decided to place our trashcans. You see, this way they are visible from many different rooms in the house. It’s the perfect place for them, really.


IMG_0526 IMG_0525 IMG_0524

You can also see why we are replacing the cabinets


Without further ado, here is our awesome new plan. It looks strikingly similar to the way the kitchen currently looks. We are switching the fridge and pantry, and adding a garbage disposal and microwave. Also, new cabinets, sink, faucets and countertops… but we are keeping the pink floor.

Kitchen Update