My mom is kind of a hoarder. You wouldn’t really know it by looking at her, or being in my parent’s house- there aren’t mazes of old newspapers, or crap everywhere, but beware if you decide to open a drawer…
You may find an Rx label from 2001:
Or, a mini plastic plate that apparently came from an airplane (Why, oh WHY would you keep such a thing?!?!)
Once, if you can even believe it, we were cleaning out a closet and found an old skirt that ought to be given away. For fun, Julie tried it on (well, not really for fun. More because my mom did not want to get rid of it since it was made from “good wool!”) While modeling said skirt, she stuck her hands in the pockets and brought out….A PACIFIER. Fo’ realz, people. I cannot make this stuff up.
She knows where everything is, and always has a gizmo to MacGyver something if necessary. Like, if you need a gigantic industrial twist tie, or one of those plastic straw things that comes in new shoes or a drop cloth. She will have it.
Unfortunately, she also kind of does this with food. Sometimes, the leftovers just aren’t going to get eaten. One time, she cleaned and cooked some broccoli that was INFESTED with bugs. Seriously, I am not kidding. “It’s fine girls, really. I cleaned it up!”
So, last week when she and I were at the farmer’s market and she wanted to buy one of these Chicken of the Woods mushrooms, I became slightly concerned that the hoarding was actually just a good way for her to hide the fact that she was trying to poison all of us.
Turns out, they are legit and actually pretty tasty. We sauteed ours with onions, garlic & olive oil. They would be good over rice, pasta, on a crostini, or just as a side .
They were fine, since I am still alive, as is Andrew, who ate a 2 week old caramel walnut bar from the BonBonerie that my mom couldn’t throw away. The cycle continues.