As an avid watcher of reality TV (I know, it’s SO BAD, but I just can’t help myself!) I can’t figure out how to contact Ryan Seacrest to get him to sign my family up for a reality show a la the Kardashians. My booty is almost as big as Kim’s, but I would never name my baby North West (that’s for a whole other blog post).
My family is pretty awesome. And often funny without meaning to be. Take, for example, my dear old dad. He’s a pretty smart guy- runs his own business (which he could never do without my mom), knows a lot about why your body does what it does (he was a health minor), is REALLY good at networking, buying cars and giving advice. Even though he was the chair of the technology committee for an industry organization for a number of years, he has NO IDEA how to work a computer, signs his texts with his name and don’t even get me started about how long it takes him to type a sentence (where the F*** is the “M”!!??). Come to think of it, maybe all of this is just a ploy to get me to do it for him- he’s also a really good delegator. When I was a kid, sometimes he would say, “Kris, I’ll give you $20 if you go upstairs and get my phone charger”. Ummm, ok Dad, sure. And I would have probably done it for $1.
Anyway, we got my dad an IPhone 5 for Father’s day. Actually, he bought it himself – Julie & I just went and did all the legwork at Verizon (there’s that delegator again). Did I mention that my dad has like 4,000 contacts?? Yeah. For real. So, he’s been learning how to use it, which is always fun because he’s so tech savvy. My brother in law, who is very tech savvy, taught him how to use Siri. He was so excited. He wanted to show us all how well he could do it at dinner one Sunday night. He asked Siri to “call Dan Horn”. This is what happened:
The best part was the look on my Dad’s face when Siri said vagina’s out loud. I laughed until my belly hurt. Seriously wish that I had that on video for you all. Ryan Seacrest, I know you’re reading, if you had signed us, it would be on video! Call me! And don’t worry, readers. This will be a regular series.